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In my head

Friday, June 2, 2006

9:44PM

Drifting definition to wonder from a set course or point of attention; to stray. Apart meaning to separate or put at a distance from time, place and position. Combine those two words and you get what most people use to explain the demise of a relationship or in kinder words the “going of separate ways” of a relationship. But is that really what we as people do? I mean now knowing what those words actually mean is that really what we do, drift apart? Or is it just a nice more subtle way of saying its over we are not that close anymore. How are you suppose to distinguish the difference? I mean in a sense using the words drifting apart are really appropriate you drift to only come back again ta-freaking-da. But that isn’t always the case sometimes just sometimes you never come back together once you start drifting its over, caput it is no more, dead and buried. So in the end is there really a difference between the two and if there is how are we suppose to figure it out. Not to dispute my own argument...Okay so I am going to dispute it don’t they both just mean the same damn thing?? Like so many other words in the English language lets just add that one to it. Or hell maybe it was already added and I am just making something out of nothing. I’m not saying that there isn’t a difference at all or there isn’t a point to be made in all this damn craziness. So then what are the differences?? Well think about it for a split second if you will. Drifting apart is just a fancy way for saying that someone is not as close as they were to another person at one point in time only its not as permeant it still gives the promise that there might still be hope to come back together. So in lamen terms its really just a way for two or more people to take and unexpected break from each other without, in a sense, giving up on the relationship altogether. Then of course you have the other side if what it may mean. In a nutshell basically a lot of people use it to explain the demise of a relationship instead of actually blaming it on something. Like he/she cheated; they just didn’t feel the same about each other; she/he was annoyed by what he/she did; so on an so forth the list could go on forever if I really wanted it to. But the fact of the matter is that sometimes people use certain terms or words to explain the demise of something that well just wasn’t meant to be really. They just can’t say what really went wrong instead they have to sugar coat it. For example when a couple files for divorce and the site irreconcilable differences....What the fuck!?!?! Why can’t you just say I never should have married him/her I made a mistake its just not gonna work. What in the bloody hell does that word mean anyways?? Maybe it does mean what I just said but Jesus people! Can you honestly tell me that, that word doesn’t make you cock your head to the side and go Wha?? Yeah thats right I said ‘Wha’ what are you gonna do about it?? Thats right nothing its my journal I can say whatever the hell I want. Damn that felt good...Now back to my point.

Okay so plain and simple I think that we as people need to just say it how it fucking is and stop sugar coating every damn thing. So what you and someone are not compatible its not the end of the gall damn fucking world for christ sake! The term ‘Can’t we all just get along?!’ Who ever thought of that should be shot...Or maybe that person was I don’t know....But the fact of the matter is we can’t all get along its not possible and its not going to happen. I mean your always going to hate what someone does or at least just not agree with it. Its human nature god dammit! So yes that is this months rant and rave...Now you all tell each other how you really feel bitch about it, shut up, and move the fuck on!! Thank you. Have a nice day.

Thank you for reading this months edition of As Katie’s (Crazy, Nutty, Insane...) World Turns....Until next time, not sure if its going tot be a month or two again or not. Enjoy stay safe and please people don’t get pissed off at me for speaking the damn truth. I mean for christ sake its not a damn lie or anything. Its how I feel get over it!! Peace out!

Current mood: bored

Thursday, June 1, 2006

10:07PM - Well Damn...

Sorry I haven't really been upsating to much guys...I do read your entries I just haven't been putting in any myself. Sarah my dear that was a long freaking entry more like a short story really. But thankyou for shareing it was very interesting. Hope to update soon and hear some comments from you guys. Later home fizzles!

Current mood: bouncy

Friday, February 17, 2006

2:54PM - My Grand Casino Story.....

Okay...So as you ALL know unless you have been living under a damn rock Me and Cj went to go see Gary Allen lastnight. Well the ride up there was awesome we jammed out you know chit chatted I was excited as all hell. So anyways we get there and we go to check in to our room and they tell us that we can't. So Court goes Kung Fu on there asses and they get us our room...Not reall she called her mom and her mom bitched them out. But Court would have gone Kung Fu! So anyways we go down to eat at the buffet and it was fine you know food is food I am not picky...Well kinda but wahtever. Anyways so then we decided to try our luck and gamble a bit I lost 14 total I know big spender. After that we took our happy/full butts up to the room to get ready to see MY man (yeah thats right Crazy chick I said MY man). So anyways we get down there and what not Court wasn't feeling well but she stayed. I love her for all she did I swear. When it started OMG these girls went nuts...Yes I did some screaming too. We had PERFECT butt shots man he has a nice ass. He sounded REALLY good and he talked in between songs of course had to talk about how cold it is. He was so damn cute really down to earth it was cool. Just kinda chatted it up not like anyone could answer but it was cool. So anyways like the 3rd to the last song Court goes up to get some pics by the stage (everyone was doing it. SO he basically told everyone they can come up to the stage and jam...Lets just say they didn't need to be told twice. Oh! And in the middle of all this a guy proposed to his gf it was so damn cute! His friend brought up a piece of paper and asked Gary to read it which he did and in the read it asked if she would marry him...The bf not Gary. So they put the spot light on them and she stood up and he got down on his knee and asked her. She said yes to all you waiting in anticipation. Everyone cheered it was awesome. So ANYWAYS after the concert I got a t-shirt yes JUST a t-shirt trust me I could have gotten more but I help back. Well while I was doing that Cj was talking to this crazy ass chick and I swear people she was threatening to slit throats if you said you liked, loved, or didn't like or love him. I swaer she was on crack and a tish bit drunk...Okay alot drunk...After we got away from her went up to the room changed went back down got something to eat (again I know and I wonder why), did some gambleing and then headed up to the room played Phase 10 and went to bed. Oh that is SOOOO not the end. So it seems like all should be good right we got up there safe and sound a little issue with getting the room nothing big its all great BUT NOOOOOO we get our stuff packed and out to the car check out...We can;t start the god damn car!!!! Yes people no car startage I did not stutter or miss type. The Mr. Balls would not startith! We were pissed and cold. Cout called everyone under the sun I swear so her mom hooked us up with this guy named Jim and he got Mr. Ball's started. THANKYOU JIM!!!!! Yeah so we went home and like flew but we were warm that is the good thing. It was like -13 when we left some guy came in and goes "Oh but it was 3 degrees warmer"! Minus 16 or minus 13??? I think I will take 20 something Thankyou very much! At least its cold but not snot freezing cold.
Anywho that was my grand casino story and I just wanted to thank Court and her parents again I had the BEST time and I would SO do it again but this time with the car starting. So anyways I hope you all enjoyed this weeks edition of As Katie's (COLD!) World Turns. Later!!!

Current mood: cold/excited/happy/thankful...

Saturday, June 18, 2005

12:23AM - Letter to Sean

I have spent the better part of my computer time trying to figure you out, I don't know why I was so interested in you. I mean granted you are great to talk to you and a very smart guy but after all that it all just wasn't enough. I tried to be there for you and I tried to make something happen with us but I gest distance and the fact that we never met eachother was not enough. I wanted to see where this went I wanted to see if what you kept on saying was true. I thought I had gotten you back but at last it was not true you are to busy and life and I find that everytime I say hi or whatever you ignore me, hell I don't even know its you but the point is no one answers and I just don't want to do this anymore. I know nothing that we said we "had" was real. I just wanted to think it was. I tried to get you to open up to me but it didn't work you have a life there that you are busy with and I am trying to have mine. It was great getting to know you and talking to you when we did. I hope that everything works out and that someday you do get to where you want to be in life. I know you a probably a great guy I would like to hope you are anyways. Your an awesome listener and you get me to spill the beans more than I want to on stuff when you know something is bugging me. For me the idea of you was perfect, I thought you were what I wanted most in a guy and I still do. In a way. I don't want to quit talking to you, I like talking to you you help me in a sort of silent way but you do. I'm sorry it didn't work out and I know you are probably sitting there with your friends laughing at the screen because I obviously don't have a life if I am so serious about a computer thing. We both know I over dramamtize thing why should this be any different. But yeah...I said what I wanted to say...Goodluck in whatever it is you decide to do in life, and if you happen to I would appreciate an email just so I know you are alive. I know how much you hate it. Take care of yourself.

Current mood: Again who cares...

Sunday, May 1, 2005

9:19PM - I got him back

Yes you heard me right I got Sean back. I got him back and dammit I feel good I am happy and I want it to work. Jessie says that he loves me but I don't think so that just isn't Sean he likes me yes and cares about me yes but he isn't into the love thing. I think anyways I could be wrong considering I don't know him half as well as he knows me which I love. He is so great mystery and all he is what I want and I am happy. The one thing that does bug me is if I will be able to talk to Taylor about him or not. I mean why not Taylor is engaged and is in love with Amanda so why wouldn't I be able to talk to him about Sean its no different than him talking about Amanda. But I feel good I am very happy and I want it to work this time I really do. I kinda shut the window before I could save the conversation but oh well I got through to him and my Sean is back. Man I need to talk to Taylor some how though I don't feel that I will talk to him anytime soon. He is ajusting in Texas and I want him too thats okay though he knows how to get ahold of me and I know he is doing okay. Man I just want to tell him what is going on and stuff. I am not sure though if I should he may be one of my best friends but we still dated and that doesn't mean that he wants to hear about my love life. I don't know maybe I will just keep it to myself. But I am happy very very VERY happy....

Current mood: ecstatic

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

9:04PM - What I have come too

There are about ten things that I have comments, conclusions, what have you on....

10) Friends are never something that you take for granted, they usually screw you over before you have the chance.
9) When society says it is wrong to drink and do drugs, they only mean if you get caught.
8) Love is like a garden, it dies if you neglect it.
7) Kids are the most honest human beings...Damnation I can't argue that.
6) It's never easy to lose weight, however the opposite is true for gaining it.
5) No one said life was easy, but they never said it was this bad either.
4) Pets are best listeners, they also can't talk so they can't tell you to shut the hell up and leave them alone.
3) Silence is a virtue, especially when you around someone you talks non-stop.
2) If I meet the man of my dreams then wouldn't that make him the man of my reality.
1) (Last but not least) Why do people waist the time and energy on makeing up stupid lists

Current mood: silly

Thursday, April 14, 2005

6:18PM - The pmsing never ends!

I have been living in this house for 17 years and apparently if I am not told to get something I am not allowed to take anything out of the fridge or cupboards because I did not buy it myself says my anal father. I swear we had fucking lemon bars sitting in the freezer from my grandmothers funeral that was about a month ago or more I took them out big fucking deal and of course my dad has a freaking cow like I emptyed everything out of the house. They were fucking lemon bars for fucks sake!! I'm sorry but I am just a tish on the pissed side he is so fucking anal but then if something is not getting eaten or whatever he yells at us for that too. I don't know what the hell he wants. Its like one day he is all whatever and then the next he is acting like an anal asshole. And they say girls have PMS??? Who the hell are they kidding! I know some guys that go through mood swings everyother second! And only pregnant women are THAT bad. Jesus my day was going good too I was excited for Saturday and I was happy that tomorrow is friday I am just in a good mood and he had to ruin it becuase I five inch by five inch thing of lemon bars from freaking March! Well excuse the ever loveing hell out of me oh anal one...Before I go and use fuck anymore I am going to leave and go sit up in my room. May you all never have to feel the rather of an extremely anal and PMSing 50 yr. old man that I call Dad.

Current mood: bitchy